3 Lessons From Survivors as Terror, Disasters Rock Our Souls
Faith in grief: Families and friends of victims of the New Orleans New Years Eve attack, the tragedy of American Airlines Flight 5342 in Washington, D.C. and California fires speak out on faith
“A man took my son’s life, but I have to forgive him.”
These words uttered by a grieving mother just days after a terrorist senselessly slaughtered her son last month left me speechless.
The strength, grit, compassion and illuminated faith expressed by Cathy Tenedorio after her 25-year-old son, Matthew Tenedorio, was killed in the New Year’s Day terror attack in New Orleans was almost too unimaginable to fathom.
Even amid a parent’s most pernicious anguish, Ms. Tenedorio clung to her Christian faith and offered a stunning level of forgiveness — even a minute fraction of which most humans would undoubtedly struggle to muster.
“He has to meet with God,” she told me of the terrorist responsible for the horror. “He has to answer for that — not to me, to God. That’s how I look at it.”
It’s virtually impossible to look at Ms. Tenedorio’s response to her loss and not feel a deep conviction over the benign qualms and squabbles we might have with other humans.
People often refuse to exonerate opponents and foes for much less and yet this woman — a loving mom who will never again see her son in this earthly realm — has been resolute and strident not to be overtaken by hatred and anger.
As a journalist and storyteller, it’s impossible for me to be unaffected by conversations like these. One of the unique facets of my job is being granted a rare lens into the human side of difficult news events and happenings, particularly when it comes to hearing from victims and those immediately impacted by tragedies and unspeakable horrors.
The lessons learned from those who are navigating the unthinkable aren’t just inspiring. They’re often transformational and pertinent to other facets of life. I’ve found this to be especially true as our culture reels from division, furor and a disconnectedness from the Almighty.
Ms. Tenedorio’s absolution for her son’s killer and her decision to seek God left me deeply inspired, though that likely wasn’t her direct intent.
See, these victims, survivors and loved ones many times don’t even realize their faith-filled approach inadvertently preaches sermons that can sway hearts and minds. As I’ve seen again and again, they’re simply following God as they process pain and push forward.
And it doesn’t end with Ms. Tenedorio. Just days ago, I spoke with Michael Simpson, who is mourning the deaths of his friends Bob and Lori Schrock, a married couple killed when an Army Black Hawk helicopter collided last week with American Airlines Flight 5342 in Washington.
Rather than Mr. Simpson lamenting or allowing the tragedy to overtake him, he used the opportunity to spread his faith with the masses.
“We’re here for a short amount of time, and eternity is what matters,” Mr. Simpson told me, explaining that Bob Schrock would have wanted him to spread the gospel message.
While I’m sure Mr. Simpson likely wanted to privately mourn the loss of friends who had deeply impacted his life, he felt it necessary to share the Schrocks’ life, love, legacy — and Christian faith, extending himself in hopes others would be inspired.
Ultimately, Mr. Simpson didn’t allow his friends to be relegated to a mere number of deaths attached to a tragedy or to simply be names streaming across a TV screen.
Instead, he shared how Bob Schrock invested in him decades ago when he was just a 12-year-old kid learning how to lift weights. Mr. Simpson also revealed how, years later, Mr. Schrock continued to selflessly support a boys’ home for at-risk youth that Mr. Simpson now runs.
See, Mr. Simpson wanted the world to know his friends loved Jesus and that this love transformed their lives and gave them eternal peace. Despite such a horrific loss — one that stunned the nation and world — Mr. Simpson believes Bob and Lori Schrock are in heaven and wants others to find that same solace.
“I know I will see my friends again,” he said.
Finally, there’s Dalyce Kelley, a woman whose strength and faithfulness also recently showed through after her 95-year-old grandmother, Dalyce Curry, died last month in the California fires.
Despite pain, questions and uncertainty, Ms. Kelly told me she was leaning on God to cope with immeasurable loss.
“I have to be strong,” she said, reflecting on her grandmother’s legacy. “She taught me how to be a strong woman, and I just live on her principle that she taught us, and that, no matter how tough life gets, nothing is as bad in it as it seems — even at its worst.”
It was that latter lesson Ms. Kelley said she was clinging to even as she admitted she faced a “nightmare,” having lost not only her belongings in the inferno, but also her beloved grandma.
Seeing through the haze of confusion, she expressed gratitude for the “love and support” around her and refused to be beaten down by her circumstances.
I could go on with other stories, but Ms. Tenedorio, Mr. Simpson and Ms. Kelley each offers us important lessons that can help us navigate a fractured culture and our own personal struggles.
Each chose to speak out just days after facing the unthinkable — and offered up stirring words to teach us decisive lessons: the power of forgiveness, the hope found in faith and the willingness to persist and see beyond the pain of the moment.
As America grieves a month of terror, natural disasters and accidents that have rocked our hearts and souls, let’s look to these survivors and their loved ones to pull away lessons we can heed to be better people and, hopefully, a much healthier and more loving culture.